did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
