the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
