i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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