im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
