Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
