thus making me awesome and them whores
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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