If i come over, it means nothing
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
