You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
