Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Randomize
