He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
