Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize