Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
