I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
how drunk are you?
Several
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
