just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Damn victory sex feels great
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