You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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