I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
