i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
