I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
