Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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