Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
