I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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