he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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