Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
