we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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