Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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