Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
