Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
