would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
