that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
