i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Randomize
