is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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