Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
