Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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