Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I think your dad took our porno
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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