All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
