i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
