I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
