hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
