He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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