Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
