Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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