Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
