ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You dont lie about slip and slides
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My ass is underappreciated
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize
