Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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