I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
