it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
