im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
