Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
