you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
