did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
