Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
