well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
