on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
