I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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